Thursday, October 8, 2009

this is as good as i could think of to start out with >_<

Okay so originally i never really planned on blogging. i mean i didnt want to turn into one of those people who write blogs that people will never read.:D
But I started reading some other peoples and my huge mind defense just came crashing down and i let myself think it'd be cool. I mean really i can finally write about some stuff :O

I guess to start out i should give you guys a brief-ish about me :)

Jared Ridenour im 14
Im talkative and come across as disrespectful when i really dont mean too...
Im very much so an extrovert come up to me in person ill strike up a conversation pretty quickly :D
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I like too.....
Snowboard,ski, write, Swim,Workout,hang out with peoples,go to the movies (occasionally sneak in the ones i cant get my dad to buy me into >_<) and uhh... Eat KFC ;D

But i do tend to like people to know all of me not just illusion that meets your eyes. if you dont want to accept me after knowing everything thats your choice but i do believe its your right to know. but a chance doesnt hurt. So here it goes

Probably the end of october/the beginning of november of 2008 i started letting myself drift away from the church and the "Right Path" as some would like to say. I had a bad experience when i was a child and those memories resurfaced and really started to bother me. So i told myself that if god loved me he wouldnt have let it happen. and then I had some friends who were apparently very much so into drugs, alchohol and the whole shabang. I had no idea when i usually hung out with them because they were never high around me. Well one day i decided to hang out with them at the park they said they were gunna have "Some fun stuff" and i didnt really understand. So when i got there of course hello weed, and all kinds of different pills. Some large amount of vodka too... And i was originally shocked. and they tried and tried to get me to Smoke. And eventually i did because they said that we couldnt hang out if i wasnt man enough to try it. So i did. and over the next month and a half highland park was my high spot. i was very much so into the drugs. I didnt consider myself an addict because i could go for as long as i wanted without them. if my friends couldnt hang out i wouldnt be in dire need of any substance. And thats also right around when i went to lafayette park. I got there and was of course curious to see how much i could get away with. I was high ALOT in class. And was always in all kinds of trouble because of it. eventually one day i guess i took to many pills and was throwing up and passed out in class. After that i dont remember alot. I remember cops. Cuffs. And weird tests. Next morning i wake up in Kinsey youth correction center. I spent around 2 weeks in secure holding. I was terrified. I spent alot of it crying trying to figure out why i had let myself do it. So i went back to the whole, god wouldnt let me do this if he really loved me. So i got out on 24 hour adult supervision for about 2 months (i was always around a parent) But i didnt have a gps on. So i snuck out alot and got high, not because i HAD to but because i wanted to get away from memories, and the whole experience. So for a while i kept doing it. Then i got involved with HPC sonburst summer youth. And i met the most important people in my life. tim, tj... and Nelleigh =). That was a real turning point for me. Anyone reading this probably knows the story. and ask them how much ive changed they will tell you i have changed quite a bit... Now im trying to reconnect with god. Chris Floyd and Nelleigh Burtch both taught me the real importance of it.

Now im definitely not out of the trouble zone. Many of the people at highland park church have this mindset that i am a terrible kid. They dont really care if im changing/ trying to change. and on top of that im still struggling with getting back into the community. Most of the people i used to know cant stand me... So on a day to day basis everything is definitely a challenge, my slowly decaying social life, the fact that every adult at the church i love despises me, and trying to stay away from "trouble" situations are my biggest concerns...

I just realized how boring this must seem >_< so im gunna leave it at the for tonight...
After you've read all that i do hope you'll get to know me, before you get this terrible mindset towards me. Anyway im off to watch a movie.


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